“What a unique device, the human tush. An architectural marvel. One of a kind. Actually, two of a kind. Designed to support our weight for a lifetime of sitting, it also has the subtlety to do the samba. And when attached to certain members of the female species at a time when light summer dresses are worn, can cause some of us to drive our cars straight up a lamppost.” - Hawkeye Pierce
Archive for November, 2005
November 17th would have been my two year anniversary if Suzanne and I hadn’t broken up. And in 14 days we would have been in a gorgeous be and breakfast celebrating. The time in between would have been filled with endless games and mini celebrations to keep the fun going. I’m not really sure exactly how I feel about it to tell the truth. Yes it sad, and depressing, but I’ve been sad and depressed for so long I’m simply drained and have a hard time feeling that emotion anymore. Well that is what would have been, and this is what is actually going on.
Jillian just keeps getting worse and worse. She never leaves the apartment, except to go to her horse lab. When she is home, all she does is watch TV. When Vanessa tries to get her to go out and do something Jillian says she doesn’t feel like it. She went home for the weekend, so she’ll get to see Nathan (and how i feel about him is a completely different story) and her dog. Maybe it will help her feel a bit better and she can actually go to class like she needs to be doing.
I’ve been trying to spend time with Vanessa, and we’ve spent quite a bit of time together, but since school is so hectic right now, I don’t get to see her as much as I’d like. I’m still not entirely sure what she thinks about me, but she does let me take her out to dinner and to movies and the like, so she can’t altogether hate me. We had planned on going to get some sushi and see Jarhead last Thursday, and while we did go see the movie, by the time it was over, the place we were going to get sushi at was closing down, so we went to Chili’s instead. Friday she got us (Vanessa, Jillian and Me) a reservation at TGIF. That was pretty cool because we didn’t have to pay for the food. They were having a sort of training/grand opening thing. The food however wasn’t all that great to tell the truth. My steak was extremely fatty, but the artichoke dip was very good.
Vanessa’s Mother and two sisters came down for the weekend, but they’ve been so busy I haven’t had a chance to meet them yet, however Vanessa did say she would go with me to Tara’s 21st Birthday party. I’m glad I won’t have to go alone. I’m not anticipating seeing Suzanne and Tucker there at all. I don’t think i’ll be staying too long.
Make her laugh. Pick her up and pretend you’re going to throw her in the pool… she’ll scream and fight, but secretly, she’ll love it. Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand while you drive. Just hold her hand period. Tell her she looks beautiful everyday. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Protect her. Tell her stupid jokes. Tickle her, even if she says to stop. Slow dance with her. When she starts getting frustrated with you, tell her you love her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Get her mad, then kiss her. Tease her. Let her tease you back. Stay up with her when she’s sick. Kiss her forehead. Let her wear your clothes. Go slow. Don’t push anything. Kiss her in the rain. When you fall in love with her, tell her. And make sure she knows you love her every day.
I’m depressed.I want to be over her. I hate that i still miss her. I found out… either yesterday or thursday, that she now calls him her boyfriend. Now her away message says “he loves me :)�? …. i feel so… i don’t even know if there is a word for it. Why am i not over her? It kills me to think that she loves a guy other than me. For nearly two years i was head over heals, madly in love with her, and for a while i know she felt the same way. I honestly thought i’d found the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with.
Here i am, November 12h, only a few days before November 17th, what would have been our two year anniversary. I had been planning our anniversary for months. I’d made a reservation at an amazing bed and breakfast two weeks after our anniversary, and i’d planned all kinds of things leading up to it. I called today to cancel the reservation, but nobody was there, so i guess i’ll have to do it on monday.
I feel shitty
very shitty
what’s wrong with me?
To quote three days grace
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
What’s that? 2 updates in one day? The world must be coming to an end!So as i’ve said before, i’ve been playing my guitar almost nonstop for a while. I need some help from yall. I can play some songs on my acoustic guitar, but i need some ideas for some new songs to learn. Keep in mind i like to sing along while i play, so i tend to play things with awesome lyrics, and until i can figure out how to write my own music, the lyrics i’ve written will remain simple… and i shudder at the word…. “poetry.”
right now i can play things like “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing” and “Flake” by Jack Johnson, “You and Me” by Lifehouse, “The General” by Dispatch, “Forever” by ben harper… you get the idea.
So any suggestions?
I figure i’d better make an entry before people get even more angry about my lack of updates.
I preordered X3 a while ago and i got it 2 days ago, so i’ve been playing it for a little while now. Classes have been no biggie, although i did have three tests this week. Studying for tests is never any fun. I’ve been playing my guitar almost nonstop for quite a while now, and i think i’ve hit a plateau, so i’ve been looking into getting some guitar lessons. I’m not sure when i’ll start, seeing as we hardly have any time left before the end of the semester.
I got my letter from A&M telling me i wasn’t accepted today, so that put me in a wonderful mood as i’m sure you can guess. I need to register fro my classes for next semester before 11:59 tomorrow… that’s depressing… another semester at Blinn… i hate Blinn… I’m still wondering about this whole college thing. I know i’m smart, but since i didn’t take the correct classes in the correct order, i have to take an extra year to get where i want to be…. bullshit…
On a higher note, I’ve been seeing as much of Vanessa as i can lately. Granted that’s not much with all the tests and projects going on right now. We went and saw a play on campus last night called “The Caucasian Chalk Circle.�? granted it was only the dress rehearsal, but i still wouldn’t advise paying $7 for it. It wasn’t bad, it was just very strange.
On a completely random not, i’m getting rather pissed of at my Yahoo! Music Engine right now… its not letting me download any music right now, and its quite frustrating. Grr…
ok so getting back to Vanessa. Going to the play was fun, and the night before (at least i think it was Tuesday evening, it could have been Monday evening… anyways) we met up at Research Park… well, she got there no problem, but i didn’t know where it was and had to drive around for 30 minutes before i found her lol. Well we sat and talked for maybe an hour before she needed to go home and work on a paper she needed to turn in today. Tonight she’s supposed to come over around 9 and we’re going to watch some movies. If i get my way, we’ll watch The Wolf Man or Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. They sound awesome don’t they?
anyways
I will leave you with these lyrics by The Postal Service
The Dream of Evan and Chan
by The Postal Service
it was familiar to me
the smoke too thick to breathe
the tile floors glistened
i slowly stirred my drink
and when you started to sing
you spoke with broken speech
that i could not understand
and then you grabbed me tightly
i wont let go
i wont let go
even if you say so
oh no
i’ve tried and tried with no results
i wont let go
i wont let go
he then played every song from 1993
the crowd applauded as he curtsied bashfully
your eyelashes tickled my neck
with every nervous blink
and it was perfect
until the telephone started
ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing off
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